Straight, Turned Inside Out

first chapter of Autoheterosexual: Attracted to Being the Other Sex

There are two known types of transgenderism. One is associated with homosexuality and the other with autoheterosexuality: a sexual attraction to being the other sex.

Autoheterosexuality is straight, turned inside out.

Sexually, this cross-gender attraction manifests as arousal at the thought or image of oneself as the other sex. And just like conventional heterosexuality, autoheterosexuality can lead to profoundly deep attachment—but instead of a romantic desire to be with people of the other sex, this erotic empathy drives a heartfelt longing to be the other sex in body, mind, behavior, presentation, or identity.

Autoheterosexual cross-gender identity can present as a private, internal way of seeing oneself, an everyday social reality, or something in between. It can also range from occasional to full time, or from mostly sexual to mostly romantic.

It’s a truly dynamic orientation with great diversity among the people who have it, which is why autoheterosexuals may ultimately identify as any of the letters in the LGBTQ political coalition.

The cross-gender self is constructed through reinforcement over time. It can be so important and meaningful that autoheterosexuals decide to transition to another gender in order to live as a version of themselves that feels more vital and authentic than their original, default-gendered self.

Autoheterosexuals can experience good gender-related feelings when they sense they’re embodying the other sex and bad gender-related feelings when they perceive a shortcoming in this embodiment. The desire to feel good gender feelings and avoid bad ones reinforces their cross-gender behavior, steadily nudging them across the gender divide.

These gender feelings predictably alter their sentiments and attitudes about gender. Their natal gender is discounted, while the other increases in value. At its most extreme, their natal gender becomes spiritually devoid of worth, while the other is exalted above all else. Eventually, existing in their natal gender can become absolutely meaningless or excruciating, and crossing over to the desired gender seems like the best path forward.

Only a subset of autoheterosexuals reach such an advanced state of cross-gender development, but the ones who do tend to transition either medically (by taking hormones or getting surgeries), socially (by changing their gender presentation, name, and pronouns), or through identification (identifying as another gender or as transgender).

Autoheterosexuals who medically transition may identify as transsexual, but it’s more common for them to identify as transgender.

Homosexual Transgenderism

To better understand autoheterosexual transgenderism, it’s helpful to understand homosexual transgenderism. In brief, homosexual transgenderism comes about by the following process.

Males and females have different optimal mating strategies because reproduction requires far more effort from females than males, so evolution has led to physical and mental differences between the sexes that support these different reproductive strategies.

Human cultures generally have two gender categories that loosely fit these sex-based differences. People are often expected to behave within the norms of these gender categories, and they may face sanctions for deviating from these gendered expectations.

Many sex-based differences arise in the womb as part of the process that creates either females or males. The development of conventional sexual orientation is a part of this process, and as a result, some homosexuals have a cross-gender psychological shift associated with their sexual orientation.

In some cases, this cross-gender shift in traits can contribute to discomfort with their bodies or social roles, and they may decide that living as another gender will improve their quality of life.

In males, this type of transgenderism goes way back. Some scientists have even proposed that the ancestral form of male homosexuality was its transgendered form[i].

Autoandrophilia and Autogynephilia

In the past few decades, sexologists have moved away from referring to trans people as “heterosexual” or “homosexual”. Gender transition makes the meaning of these terms uncertain, and because they’re anchored to sex rather than gender identity, some people consider them disrespectful. To bypass these issues, sexologists started to name the attractions themselves.

Attraction to adult males became androphilia (“love of men”). Attraction to adult females became gynephilia (“love of women”). Before transition or after transition, female or male, it didn’t matter: the terms remained constant.

Due in part to this linguistic innovation, a sexologist named Ray Blanchard came up with a term for the attraction to being a woman that many of his male-gender patients reported. He called it autogynephilia (“love of self as woman”)[ii].

“Auto” means “self”—for example, an airplane with autopilot is self-piloting.

Autogynephilia is a useful term for talking about male autoheterosexuality. Likewise, autoandrophilia (“love of self as man”) is a useful term for talking about female autoheterosexuality.

Both autogynephilia and autoandrophilia are autosexual orientations: enduring patterns of sexual or romantic self-attraction. Autosexual orientations can also be thought of as enduring patterns of attraction to particular types of embodiment, states of self, or ways of being.

Transgender Demographics

Autoheterosexual preferences are about as prevalent as homosexual preferences, but culture influences how often either orientation leads to transgenderism.

Homosexual transgenderism tends to be more common in collectivistic countries. In contrast, autoheterosexual transgenderism is usually more common in Western, individualistic countries.

Thus, the relative prevalence of the two types is an indirect indicator of societal individualism. Societies in which autoheterosexual trans people can live openly as their cross-gender selves tend to be the same societies in which people have more freedom to chart their own course in life and live in alignment with their innermost feelings.

In the United States, about three out of four trans people are autoheterosexual.

Sorting the Two Types

The two-type model of transgenderism says that all—or virtually all—cases of transgenderism are ultimately caused by homosexuality or autoheterosexuality.

This cause is an etiology (pronounced “ee-tee-ology” or “eh-tee-ology”). In discussions of transgenderism, the two orientations that cause it are often referred to as etiologies. Get comfy with this word—it’s an important one.

Within the two-type model, there is a sorting system known as the two-type typology of transgenderism. A typology is a way of classifying things into groups based on shared characteristics.

The two-type transgender typology sorts transgender people into groups based on whether their sexual orientations are homosexual or nonhomosexual with respect to their birth sex. Heterosexual, bisexual, and asexual trans people are all nonhomosexual, so they get sorted into the autoheterosexual group. Homosexual trans people get sorted into the homosexual etiology group. This way of sorting is useful, but it’s not perfect.

Some autoheterosexuals only want same-sex partners or only report same-sex attraction, so this sorting method mistakenly sorts them into the homosexual group. And sometimes trans people who don’t like the two-type typology will misrepresent their orientations because they don’t want to be sorted into the autoheterosexual group.

This categorization system has proven reasonably effective for sorting male-to-female transsexuals, but it hasn’t been researched much in female-to-male transsexuals. I anticipate that future research will confirm its utility in both sexes, but that differentiating between the two types will be a little fuzzier for female-to-male transsexuals.

The two-type typology is a powerful method for classifying trans people. It’s fast, and with just the smallest scraps of information about them, it’s possible to have a strong guess about which etiology they are.

Knowledge About Autoheterosexuality Is Being Actively Suppressed

Autoheterosexual orientations are about as common as homosexual orientations, but misinformed activists are preventing the public from learning about them. I’ll describe a few of the most brazen examples to show what I mean.

At present, Wikipedia pages for “autogynephilia” and “autoandrophilia” don’t even exist. Instead, they redirect[iii] to “Blanchard’s transsexualism typology”[iv]—a misdirection that switches the focus away from these sexual orientations and toward a categorization system and a particular scientist instead.

It’s not just the world’s most influential source of knowledge that has this problem. These lies of omission are also found in the reference materials produced by and for medical professionals.

Thousands of clinicians with transgender patients rely upon the Standards of Care document[v] published by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, but autogynephilia and autoandrophilia aren’t even mentioned in it.

In comparison, the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual does a better job of informing readers about transgenderism. To their credit, both the fifth edition of the DSM (DSM-5) and its text revision (DSM-5-TR) include a single reference to autogynephilia as a “predisposing factor” within the gender dysphoria chapter[vi], and both describe developmental trajectories corresponding to the two known transgender etiologies.

Still, these two most recent editions of the DSM don’t mention autoandrophilia at all, and one fleeting reference to autogynephilia is hardly enough to make it clear to autogynephilic readers that their sexual orientations are the ultimate source of their gender issues. The unwillingness to outright name the two known types of transgenderism also harms gender dysphoric homosexuals, who often don’t realize they have a fundamentally different type of dysphoria.

There are other examples I could cite, but these are enough to show how thorough and pervasive the cover-up is. The appropriate Wikipedia pages don’t exist, and professionals who work in transgender health care can’t get straightforward information about the causes behind the conditions they are tasked with treating.

This precludes many clinicians from having even a basic, 101-level understanding of transgenderism. But even more importantly, it harms homosexuals and autoheterosexuals who want to accurately interpret their gender feelings and make informed decisions that will optimize their well-being.

This cover-up can’t go on forever. It’s time to end the lie.

Ending the Cover-Up: Prioritizing “Is” over “Ought”

There are a few main reasons for the widespread cover-up of autoheterosexuality:

• It contradicts many trans people’s personal narratives about themselves

• It frames gender identity as a product of sexual orientation rather than an independent aspect of oneself, and it’s anchored to sex rather than gender identity

• There is concern that if knowledge of autoheterosexuality becomes mainstream, trans people will face discrimination or not be regarded as the gender to which they aspire

These concerns are understandable, but prioritizing political considerations over truth privileges “ought” over “is”.

In this book, I aim to describe what is. I want people to have mental models that correspond to reality so that they can make accurate predictions (e.g., whether or not they would benefit from gender transition).

I will sometimes suggest an “ought” that’s grounded in my liberal humanist outlook. If your moral framework differs and you disagree, that’s fine.

But take the two-type model seriously.

There is already ample evidence that homosexual transgenderism and autoheterosexual transgenderism exist in both sexes. The real question is whether there are more than these two main types, not whether multiple distinct types exist in the first place.

Why the Concept of Autoheterosexuality Is So Threatening

If someone’s deepest, most heartfelt wish was to be the other sex, which of the following explanations for their gender feelings would feel more emotionally satisfying?

They want to be the other sex because:

1. In truth, they are actually more like the other sex in mind and spirit, but a mistake in development led them to have the wrong anatomy

2. They have an autosexual version of heterosexuality that makes them happier when they feel similar to the other sex or embody traits they associate with it

It’s a no-brainer, right? The first one is obviously more emotionally satisfying.

This is why hearing about autoheterosexuality is so upsetting to many trans people. It suggests to them that their desire to be the other sex is ultimately because they are not that sex. Furthermore, their drive to be the other sex comes from a type of heterosexuality—the least queer kind of sexuality.

The autoheterosexual explanation can undermine the hard-earned sense of identity they’ve painstakingly constructed over years. Many loathe the concepts of autoandrophilia and autogynephilia, as well as the two-type typology that categorizes them as autoheterosexual if they aren’t solely same-sex attracted.

However, only a minority of autoheterosexuals transition to live as the other sex.

What about the rest of us? Don’t we deserve a fair shot at making sense of our experiences?

Why I Wrote This Book

Learning about autogynephilia and accepting that it described me was a pivotal moment in my life. It revealed the continuity between so many prior thoughts, feelings, and inclinations that I otherwise couldn’t make sense of—things that sometimes made me feel uneasy, or even ashamed.

I finally knew why it hurt to be male and why I wished I were female.

I finally understood what the hell happened at that Lady Gaga concert back in 2013, when a powerful surge of feminine euphoria made me feel as though I had a female soul and left me with a lingering paranoia that I might be transgender.

It finally made sense why I immediately fell in love with hooping and came to dedicate thousands of hours to the art of hooping: the vast majority of hoopers are female. Although hoops are the best flow arts prop, it was their ability to signify femininity that likely kept me coming back (and why I could become sullen or irritable if there were gaps in my practice).

Once I understoo­d myself as autogynephilic, I realized that no matter how hard I tried, my reasoning abilities would never fully extinguish my desire to be the other sex, because my cross-gender wish ultimately came from a sexual orientation. If gay people couldn’t change their orientations, then I probably couldn’t either.

Repression no longer made sense, so I switched over to wearing women’s clothes full time. This seemingly simple change greatly improved my quality of life.

Now that I know why maleness can feel unsatisfying and meaningless, it hurts less. Just that change alone—knowing why—has done wonders for me.

I’d previously thought I was conventionally heterosexual, so the realization that I was a different kind of heterosexual was initially uncomfortable. Although it didn’t feel nearly as jarring as it would have if I’d thought of myself as a woman, it still felt like a big adjustment at the time.

Prior to this realization, I worked in mechanical engineering. I had to wear men’s clothes and sit in a cubicle under fluorescent lights, surrounded by men forty hours a week. I felt that I was dying physically, emotionally, and spiritually every day I was there. I hated it.

I learned about autogynephilia shortly after being laid off. My autistic ability to fixate on a “special interest” kicked into high gear, and I thought constantly about the science pertaining to autogynephilia.

I read most of the influential sexology writings on transgenderism from 1890 to the present day. I ultimately read many of these papers and books several times as I checked them against each other for coherence. I also closely analyzed first-person narratives and found that it didn’t matter if the narratives were from the early 1900s or early 2000s—the same themes popped up again and again.

During this process, I found online communities where self-aware autoheterosexuals worked together to better understand our orientation. It was a massive relief to learn that I wasn’t alone in pursuing this knowledge.

After roughly a year of full-time investigation, I realized that few people knew as much about autogynephilia as I did. I also realized there was systemic ignorance on the subject within the transgender community, and this ignorance was held in place by an unwritten rule which went something like this:

You may not speak of autogynephilia, autoandrophilia, or the two-type transgender model in a way that treats them as relevant, accurate, or true.

It was obvious to me that this rule had to go: it prevented autoheterosexuals from fully understanding themselves, and this undermined their ability to give truly informed consent for gender-affirming medical interventions.

Over and over, I saw people recount their experiences in online trans spaces as part of their gender-questioning process, only to be told by transsexuals that what they were describing meant they were probably trans and should therefore transition.

They weren’t told that their feelings indicated attraction to being the other sex, and that this sexuality was the most common cause of transgenderism. They weren’t told that most people with this orientation don’t transition.

I figured if autoheterosexual orientations were about as common as homosexual ones, there were millions of people out there privately grappling with confusing gender feelings like I had been. One-on-one interactions wouldn’t be enough to reach them.

I needed an indestructible approach that could work on a massive scale.

I needed a book.

Language Choices

In my first attempt at writing this book, I tried to dance around the imagined audience’s gender identities. This corralled my thinking and stilted my language. It didn’t work.

Eventually, I accepted that I was going to catch an immense amount of shit, and nothing could save me. People would lie about what I actually wrote, most without reading it. I was going to be insulted, berated, denigrated, canceled, hated, and dehumanized.

I was fucked either way.

This realization freed me to make several language choices that prioritize accuracy, clarity, and brevity.

Throughout this book, I will frequently use the terms “heterosexual”, “homosexual”, and their variants (i.e., “autoheterosexual”, “nonheterosexual”, “nonhomosexual”). When I do this, I am talking about sexual orientation in relation to natal sex, NOT to gender identity. I do this to be clear and concise, not to invalidate anyone’s gender identity.

Although gender identity can change over time, sex is immutable. Humans can change some of their sex traits, but not sex itself. The binary and immutable nature of sex makes it the only stable point of reference for terms like “homosexual” and “autoheterosexual” which define sexuality in relation to the self.

These terms are also needed to explain the two types of transgenderism succinctly. Without them, it takes four comparatively awkward terms to describe the different types of transgenderism.

Since the terms “autoheterosexual” and “autoheterosexuality” are so long and occur so frequently, I will sometimes shorten them to “autohet” to increase readability. Likewise, I will sometimes shorten “autoheterosexuals” to “autohets”.

I will refer to the gender associated with someone’s sex as their default gender[vii]. By contrast, the gender that doesn’t match their sex will be their cross gender. Autoheterosexuals tend to have a default-gender self and a cross-gender self that coexist in an internal union, so it’s important to have a name for both of these sides. Additionally, when I speak of something as “gender-affirming”, I am specifically referring to affirmation of the cross-gender identity.

I will frequently call upon first-person narratives to demonstrate aspects of autoheterosexuality. Most of the people in these narratives are dead or otherwise inaccessible, so I can’t be sure of their preferred pronouns. I will default to honoring their cross-gender self with corresponding pronouns.

Although autoheterosexuality is an atypical form of sexuality, I will never call it a “fetish” or “kink”. I strongly recommend against using terms like these when speaking of autoheterosexuality. By conjuring up a narrow image of autoheterosexuality that is restricted to matters of eroticism, these terms fail to capture the true breadth of the autohet experience and its emotional significance to autoheterosexuals.

Instead, I refer to autoheterosexuality as a “sexual orientation” or simply an “orientation”. This terminology acknowledges its sexual nature while implicitly recognizing its emotional and sentimental side, which runs deep.

I will often refer to individuals on the male-to-female spectrum as “MTF” or “transfem”, and to individuals on the female-to-male spectrum as “FTM” or “transmasc”. I use these terms in a broad sense. I’m not here to police who counts as “legitimately trans” based on their identity or state of gender transition.

To stay out of the category war over “woman” and “man”, I’ll often use “female” and “male” instead. I’ll use “female” or “male” instead of “natal female” or “natal male” because they transmit exactly the same information.

I also won’t be using phrases like “assigned female”, “assigned female at birth”, “AFAB”, or their male equivalents. These bullshit obfuscations aim to bring biological sex into the realm of social construction, a place it simply doesn’t belong.

Biological sex, which I will usually just call “sex”, has been around for over a billion years[viii]. It exists regardless of how we think, feel, or speak about it. Sex is not a social construction and never has been.

In this book, I aim to characterize a sexual orientation that millions of people have. There is considerable diversity within this group of people, so many things I say will only apply to a subset of them. This fact requires that I frequently hedge my statements with qualifiers such as “many”, “tends to”, “usually”, “often”, and “can”. Interpret these qualifiers as acknowledgments of diversity.

Lastly, I want to mention a couple unconventional grammar choices I made. Periods mark the boundaries between sentences, so citation superscripts will usually come before the concluding period and fall within the sentence to which they apply. Quotation marks also act as boundaries, so punctuation which is not part of a quote will fall outside of the quoted region.

Are You Autoheterosexual?

Autoheterosexuality has a spectrum of intensity. On the extreme end, it can be so intense that someone isn’t even attracted to other people. However, it’s most common for it to be mild or moderate in its intensity.

I’m going to present some feelings, thoughts, and experiences that are common in autoheterosexuals, so you can quickly estimate whether you’re autoheterosexual—and if so, to what degree.

These aren’t exhaustive. They are just a starting point for introspection.

Do you relate to any of these positive gender-related experiences?

• It’s comforting when you dress as the other sex—it just feels right. In that clothing, you feel relaxed, excited, or at peace with yourself.

• It’s emotionally reassuring or pleasurable to position or move your body in a way that reminds you of the other sex.

• Your heterosexuality directs you toward men with feminine traits or women with masculine traits. These traits may be either mental or physical.

• You long to be “one of the ladies” or “one of the guys”. When you socialize in groups of the other sex, it’s emotionally rewarding. When they treat you as one of them, it means the world to you. You cherish those validating moments, and they stand out in your memory.

• Your feelings about this cross-gender side of yourself are significant and meaningful. You treasure the positive feelings; they feel like love.

Have you experienced any of these negative gender-related feelings?

• Your physique is normal for your sex, so you feel that your body parts are in the wrong place or just plain wrong. Some body parts are missing. Others you wish were missing.

• Any tissue or physical feature that differs between the sexes can bring displeasure or disconnection. Your bones are the wrong size, the wrong shape. Your fat collects in all the wrong places. Your face and voice feel alien.

• You’re disappointed in your appearance because you measure yourself by the standards of the other sex.

• You envy the other sex and sometimes wish you were born that way.

• You resent the social pressure to wear gender-typical clothing or behave a certain way because of your sex.

• You don’t like that others see you as your birth sex.

• You feel that it would be easier to relate to yourself, care about yourself, or find meaning in life if you were the other sex.

• You feel that life would be better if you were the other sex. You wish you were born that way.

• If you could press a button and permanently change sex, you would press it without hesitation.

Are any of these relatable?

If so, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re autoheterosexual. But these kinds of feelings are common among autoheterosexuals, so if many of them resonate with you, it’s worth further introspection.

Now, let’s look at some sexual signs of autoheterosexuality. Have you ever had any of these sexual experiences?

• You have become aroused after wearing clothing associated with the other sex.

• During sexual fantasies, you have seen yourself as the other sex or with physical features of the other sex.

• You have fantasized about playing a cross-gender sex role with someone of your sex (i.e., playing a man’s sexual role with a woman, or playing a woman’s sexual role with a man).

• You have become aroused by being treated as the other sex.

• You have imagined yourself with physical features of the other sex and become aroused.

• You have become aroused after imagining you had the bodily functions of the other sex (i.e., ejaculation, erection, menstruation, or lactation).

• You have switched sex roles during heterosexual sex and found it preferable or especially arousing.

These are all manifestations of autoheterosexuality.

If you’ve repeatedly had any of these sexual experiences, it’s worth considering the degree to which you are autoheterosexual. If erotic cross-gender embodiment is your primary source of sexual arousal, then you are autoheterosexual.

The best way to accurately determine if you are autoheterosexual is to try various forms of cross-gender embodiment in private to see if arousal happens. This is most commonly done through dressing in clothing associated with the other sex (crossdressing) or imagining oneself as the other sex or another gender (crossdreaming[ix]).

Autoheterosexual Readers: Stay Calm. Think.

This book proposes a model of transgenderism that is drastically different from the mainstream one.

If you are transgender, it may drastically change your personal narrative about who or what you are and how you came to be that way.

Don’t jump to making drastic life changes.

If you have already socially or medically transitioned, stay that way for now. If you haven’t transitioned yet, don’t rush into it.

Give yourself time to think things through. Don’t freak out. It’ll be okay.

It’s okay to be autoandrophilic or autogynephilic. What you choose to do about your sexual orientation or gender situation is up to you. There is no one right way to do it.

There’s also no way to be 100% certain of the best way forward, but if you become informed about autoheterosexuality and give yourself time to think, you increase the odds that your decisions will be the right ones for you.

Autoheterosexual Embodiment Subtypes

Autoheterosexuality isn’t just one thing. It’s complex. It has many aspects.

Research findings suggest that male autoheterosexuality has five known embodiment subtypes[x]. Formal research hasn’t yet tested whether females have them as well, but I’ll treat them as if they do.

Two of these subtypes concern bodies and bodily functions. The other three pertain to clothing, behavior, and social interactions:

• Anatomic—having the other sex’s body or its features

• Physiologic—having the bodily functions of the other sex

• Sartorial—dressing as the other sex

• Behavioral—behaving as the other sex

• Interpersonal—socially being the other sex

Autoheterosexuals derive comfort, meaning, or arousal from embodying these aspects of the other sex.

Any given autohet individual may have just one of these subtypes or all of them. Each drives different aspects of cross-gender embodiment. This embodiment operates through association.

Based on their life experience, everyone has their own set of ideas and associations about the other sex. Sometimes these associations align with stereotypes, but that’s because stereotypes are often accurate[xi].

For autohets, the behavioral and sartorial subtypes of autoheterosexuality are the most attainable aspects of cross-gender embodiment. The interpersonal and anatomic subtypes of autoheterosexuality are most successfully embodied through medical interventions such as hormones or surgeries, so they are bigger contributors to autohet transsexualism.

Autohet transsexualism is also motivated by core autoheterosexuality: attraction to the idea of being the other sex. Although it’s not technically a subtype, it’s useful to have a name for this stripped-down, core essence of autoheterosexuality.

Countless autoheterosexuals have prayed to God or blown out birthday candles with a wish to change sex. Many have fallen in love with this beautiful idea and thought, I want to be a man or I want to be a woman so often that it left deep grooves in the wagon ruts of their minds.

Although these autohet subtypes are conceptually distinct, in practice they tend to merge into one unified cross-gender expression.

Sartorial Autoheterosexuality

For many autoheterosexuals, sartorial embodiment is the most accessible form of cross-gender embodiment. “Sartorial” means “of or relating to clothing”.

Through wearing clothing associated with the other sex, autoheterosexuals symbolically evoke the idea of being that sex. Different clothing articles symbolize different aspects of anatomy.

For autohet females, wearing a jockstrap evokes the idea of having male genitals, and wearing a binder evokes the idea of having a flat, male-typical chest.

For autohet males, wearing a bra evokes the idea of having female breasts, and wearing women’s underwear evokes the idea of having female genitals.

Although each piece of clothing can evoke the idea of being the other sex on its own, wearing a complete cross-gender outfit is the most thorough way of doing so.

Traditionally, sartorial autoheterosexuality has been called “transvestism” or “cross-dressing”. However, these labels can be confusing when describing post-transition autoheterosexuals, and they are completely unfit for describing the cisvestism of autohomosexuals (people who are attracted to being their own sex).

To get around these issues, I decided to introduce language that isn’t anchored to sex. This brings it in line with the other subtype descriptors, none of which reference sex.

Psyche Autoheterosexuality

Some autoheterosexuals embody the other sex through their state of consciousness. This psyche autoheterosexuality is about having the consciousness of the other sex.

Psyche autoheterosexuality creates a tangible feeling of cross-gender identity—a sensation of looking through the eyes of the other sex and having their thoughts, feelings, perceptions, or sensations. Some feel it as a cross-gender soul that dwells inside them.

This compelling, beautiful feeling is a mental shift.

At first, mental shifts are transient. Through repetition, mental shifts happen more often and last longer when they do. For some autoheterosexuals, this feeling becomes a permanent feature of their everyday consciousness, which is a form of cross-gender identity.

Cross-gender embodiment can trigger mental shifts, and mental shifts can motivate further cross-gender embodiment. Each reinforces and encourages the other.

Dressing or behaving as the other sex are the most accessible forms of cross-gender embodiment, so they often trigger an autohet person’s first mental shifts. Over time, some autoheterosexuals learn how to access the feeling of a mental shift directly, without the need for external triggers.

I suspect that psyche autoheterosexuality is a distinct subtype of autoheterosexuality, but it hasn’t been empirically studied yet.

Partner Preferences and Meta-Attraction

Autoheterosexuals can sexually prefer to be with females, males, both, or neither.

Most autohets are attracted to the other sex. However, their desire for cross-gender embodiment increases their attraction to people of the same sex, as well as people of the other sex who have gender-atypical traits.

Perceiving these attributes in sexual partners helps an autoheterosexual person cultivate a sense of cross-gender embodiment through contrast. When autoheterosexuals are more attracted to someone because that person’s traits strengthen a feeling of cross-gender embodiment, it’s called meta-attraction.

Meta-attraction makes feminine males and masculine women more attractive. Partnering with a feminine man makes it easier for an autoandrophilic female to feel like a man. Alongside a masculine woman, it’s easier for an autogynephilic male to feel like a woman.

This attraction through contrast also fuels desire for same-sex partners. This gender-affirming same-sex attraction is meta-homosexuality.

With a same-sex partner, autoheterosexuals can play a cross-gender sex role: autoandrophilic females can be a man with a woman, and autogynephilic males can be a woman with a man.

Much of the same-sex behavior seen among autoheterosexuals ultimately originates in meta-homosexuality.

The existence of meta-homosexuality means that some pre-transition autohets are part of the homosexual community. In these instances, autohet males are likely to play a submissive, receptive sex role, and autohet females are likely to play a dominant, assertive sex role.

Post-transition autohets also participate in the homosexual community as gay trans men and trans lesbians. Because these autohets are attracted both to the other sex and to being the other sex, their heterosexuality is directed both externally and internally. Thus, they are ambiheterosexual (“ambi” means “both”).

Autoheterosexuals who experience meta-attraction to people of the same sex often identify as bisexual. It’s common for these autoheterosexuals to be behaviorally bisexual, yet romantically heterosexual.

Autoheterosexuals are often attracted to feminized males or masculinized females. This attraction to people with mixed gender traits is another source of their bisexuality.

Some autohets aren’t attracted to other people at all. In theory, this is because their autosexuality is such a big proportion of their sexuality that it overpowers their allosexuality. Autohets like this may identify as asexual.

Altogether, autoheterosexuals vary widely in their sexual partner preferences. They may desire other-sex partners, or they may not. They may desire same-sex partners, or they may not. It all depends on the individual. Therefore, autohets can be behaviorally heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or asexual.

Due to this variation in partner choice and their propensity for gender transition, autoheterosexuals can fall anywhere within the LGBTQ political coalition.

Simplifying the LGBTQ Alphabet Soup: Nonhet and Autohet

The LGBTQ coalition is simpler than it seems at first glance.

Most of its members are homosexual, bisexual, or autoheterosexual: they exhibit same-sex sexuality or cross-gender sexuality. In other words, they are nonheterosexual or autoheterosexual (nonhet or autohet).

The “L” and “G” are about preferential same-sex attraction (homosexuality). Preferential homosexuality is usually caused by inborn attraction to the same sex, but it can also be caused by the meta-homosexuality that some autoheterosexuals have.

Of all the letters in the rainbow coalition, the “B” is the most complex. Bisexuality has many causes and manifestations[xii]. Bisexual behavior can be caused by attraction to both sexes, meta-homosexuality, attraction to androgyny, an uninhibited disposition toward sexuality, life circumstances, a lack of strict sexual preferences, or other factors. It’s unknown exactly how many types of bisexuality there are.

The “T” is about transgenderism. To reiterate, there are two known types: homosexual and autoheterosexual.

The “Q” represents queer—an umbrella term for sexualities that fall outside of heterosexual attraction to others (alloheterosexuality). Thus, queer simply means nonalloheterosexual. Queer is an intentionally ambiguous label indicating that someone belongs within the rainbow coalition, but it doesn’t specify where. However, queer-identified people are usually homosexual, bisexual, or autoheterosexual.

Seen in this way, the gender-based, mainstream segment of the political movement for sexual and gender minority rights is simpler than the vast array of letters seemingly implies.

It can be collapsed down to three categories: homosexual, bisexual, and autoheterosexual. Since the former two are both nonheterosexual forms of sexuality, these three categories can be whittled down to just two gender-based sexual proclivities: nonheterosexuality and autoheterosexuality (nonhet and autohet).

Why “Autoheterosexual”?

Because it’s accurate. Autoheterosexual describes attraction to self as the other sex. It’s simply the right word for the job.

Its abbreviated form, autohet, is also short and easy to say.

The autoheterosexual concept is efficient: it packs female autoandrophilia and male autogynephilia into one word. Both rest on equal footing under the autoheterosexual umbrella, giving autoandrophilia the long-overdue recognition it deserves as the female counterpart to male autogynephilia.

Much how lesbians and gay males know they’re homosexual, the concept of autoheterosexuality will let autoandrophilic females and autogynephilic males know they’re autoheterosexual.

The current conceptual landscape provides ample habitat for the concept of autoheterosexuality to thrive. The adjacent idea of heterosexuality is already firmly etched into people’s brains, providing fertile ground in which the autohet concept can take root, welcomed in by familiarity and held in place by association.

Another reason to use autoheterosexual is to minimize potential political backlash against trans people after the two-type model enters mainstream awareness. The vast majority of people are heterosexual, so describing attraction to being the other sex as autoheterosexual makes it as relatable as possible, to as many people as possible. No orientation is more normalized, acceptable, and mainstream than heterosexuality.

Most people also understand that heterosexuality isn’t just about sexual intercourse with someone of the other sex. It’s also about companionship, love, family, joy, and all else that flows downstream of that initial sexual spark. Heterosexuality is a source of meaning and guidance that radically alters someone’s life path. It’s important.

Sexuality and romance both play a central role in the emotional well-being of heterosexuals, and heterosexuality is absolutely fundamental to the way they think. The idea of autoheterosexuality allows heterosexuals to understand—as best they can—that some people have the same sort of strong feelings about being the other gender that they have toward the other gender.

This relatability will prove essential when autoheterosexuality goes mainstream and people inevitably deride it as a “kink” or “fetish” in their political war against transgender people. Accurately describing it as a type of heterosexuality offers the strongest defense against these familiar, sex-negative attacks on legitimacy.

The idea of autoheterosexuality also prepares people to comprehend the two-type model of transgenderism. The general public already knows that homosexual transgenderism exists, even if they don’t always have a name for it. Once they understand autoheterosexuality and its associated form of transgenderism, a model of transgenderism with two or more distinct types becomes implicit. They’ll get it.

The decision to use autoheterosexual is also an aesthetic one: autogynephilia and autoandrophilia both have subpar mouthfeel. These clinical-sounding, awkward terms are often hard for people to remember or say.

Aesthetics matter. Neuroscientist Simon LeVay once proclaimed, “The day someone insists on a friendlier-sounding term than ‘autogynephile’ will be the day another sexual minority claims a place at the table”[xiii].

Autoheterosexuals, pull up a chair.

That day has arrived.

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[i] Doug P. VanderLaan, Zhiyuan Ren, and Paul L. Vasey, “Male Androphilia in the Ancestral Environment: An Ethnological Analysis,” Human Nature 24, no. 4 (October 2013): 375–401, https://doi.org/10.1007/s12110-013-9182-z.

[ii] Ray Blanchard, “Early History of the Concept of Autogynephilia,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 34, no. 4 (August 2005): 444, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-005-4343-8.

[iii]  Wikipedia, s.v. “Autoandrophilia: Revision History,” accessed September 27, 2022, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Autoandrophilia&action=history; Wikipedia, s.v. “Autogynephilia: Revision History,” accessed September 27, 2022, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Autogynephilia&action=history.

[iv] Wikipedia, s.v. “Blanchard’s Transsexualism Typology,” last modified December 29, 2022, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blanchard%27s_transsexualism_typology.

[v] E. Coleman et al., “Standards of Care for the Health of Transgender and Gender Diverse People, Version 8," International Journal of Transgender Health 23, no. 1 (September 6, 2022): S1–259,  https://doi.org/10.1080/26895269.2022.2100644.

[vi] American Psychiatric Association, ed., Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-5, 5th ed. (Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association Publishing, 2013), 457, https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596; American Psychiatric Association, ed., Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-5-TR, 5th ed., text revision (Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association Publishing, 2022), 517, https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787.

[vii] Ozymandias, “Cis by Default,” Thing of Things (blog), January 28, 2015, https://thingofthings.wordpress.com/2015/01/28/cis-by-default/.

[viii] David C. Geary, Male, Female: The Evolution of Human Sex Differences, 3rd ed. (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2021), 26, https://doi.org/10.1037/0000181-000.

[ix] Jack Molay, “Crossdreaming Described,” Crossdreamers (blog), August 3, 2014, https://www.crossdreamers.com/2014/08/crossdreaming-described.html.

[x] Kevin J. Hsu, A. M. Rosenthal, and J. Michael Bailey, “The Psychometric Structure of Items Assessing Autogynephilia,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 44, no. 5 (July 2015): 1301–12, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-014-0397-9.philia.

[xi] Lee Jussim et al., “Stereotype Accuracy: One of the Largest and Most Replicable Effects in All of Social Psychology,” in Handbook of Prejudice, Stereotyping, and Discrimination, 2nd ed., ed. Todd D. Nelson (New York: Psychology Press, 2016), 31–63, https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203361993-8.

[xii] Jordan E. Rullo, “A Contemporary Review of the Distinct Conceptualizations of Bisexuality,” unpublished research preliminary examination, (Salt Lake City: Department of Psychology, University of Utah, 2015).

[xiii] Simon LeVay, “MTF Seeks MTF, Why?,” Transgender Tapestry 93 (Spring 2001), 21, https://archive.org/details/transgendertapes9320unse/page/20/mode/2up.